Groom of the Stool: A Bottom-up History of Political Power

I will start with the proposition that the most powerful person in the White House, and in our government, is Natalie Harp, the 35-year-old White House Appointments Secretary.   

Trump’s latest salvo against a free press came last week when Trump announced he was banning CNN, MSNow, and Politico from the White House. Media reports later emerged that Trump erupted in rage after Harp played him video excerpts of reporters and pundits criticizing his policies and missteps.   In a fit, and apparently without consulting his staff and cabinet, Trump unilaterally banned certain press organizations from the White House press pool, thus creating the current crisis of free speech and government transparency.

Meanwhile, Costco is rationing motor oil and diesel is at record highs.

I don’t know whether the reports of Harp’s involvement are true in whole, in part, or false.  Given that Harp continuously follows Trump around and feeds him news that inflates his ego and buoys his moods, the report sounds plausible.

Way back, and I mean way back, Henry VIII of England, who cut off the heads of a few of his many wives, created an official position within his royal court that is known as the “Groom of the Stool.”  This person’s primary responsibility was to attend to the King’s bowel movements, his morning ablutions.  One doesn’t learn these scraps of history reading grand political histories but bottom-up social histories.

Before the age of flush toilets and toilet paper, commodes weren’t exactly spread around the manors and castles, the king needed a place to poop when out doing kingly things.    The groom of the stool was entrusted with the king’s “stool” kit and ensured it was available wherever he went.  The stool was a box upon which he sat when needing to go.  The stool contained a chamber pot, a water source for washing up, and a cloth.  

For the curious, it’s why poop and stool are related.

There are no records to suggest that the groom of the stool ever wiped the royal buttock, which is probably true.  Nonetheless the groom of the stool did attend to the king’s most private moments.  This closeness and intimacy with the king also brought power and the groom of the stool was sought-after by courtiers.  As a result, over time, the groom of the stool became the King’s amanuensis, managed the King’s personal finances; basically, became a close and powerful advisor.  One of his privy advisors. 

For the very curious, it’s why privy and bathroom are related. 

The position of the groom of the stool eventually ended (yes, a pun) in 1901 or thereabouts.  I argue that Natalie Harp occupies a similar position of access and trust.  While she may not attend to Trump’s bathroom ablutions, she does spend much time in Trump’s private quarters, basically the 15^th century equivalent of the privy chambers.

Harp apparently has almost 24-hour access to the president. We know she produces Trump’s social media posts, feeds him memes, for instance the racist video of the Obamas as apes, and eventually posts his Truth Social missives.  Dangerously, Harp seems to deliberately encourage Trump’s basest instincts, incites his racial animus, and foster Trump’s self-conception that he is ordained by God to rule. 

These Truth Social post double as official government policy.  This access and influence make her the most powerful person in our government.  She, in effect, develops and publishes government policy while simultaneously manages his public persona as this all-seeing divine ruler.  Part Sauron, part Jesus. Trump not Harp. Although it does seem she is channeling herself through Trump’s social media.

Who is this, Natalie Harp? Is she a love-struck fanatical follower?  Or is she a brilliant interloper masquerading as infatuated aid?  Or somewhere in-between?  Or worse, an asset of an intelligence service?

Undoubtedly foreign intelligence adversaries, to include China, Israel, and Russia knew about her and her relationship and access to Trump years ago, before he returned to office.  Any intelligence service, either friend or foe, would have at least thought about targeting her.  You can imagine the intelligence coup that would have been.  A false flag operation would have been a perfect avenue to approach her as a witting or unwitting asset.  

An intelligence service could not only gain daily insights into Trump’s mental state, his inner thoughts, but also intimate knowledge of his other medical conditions, medicines he is taking. Maybe even introduce listening devices. More importantly they would be able to reliably feed Trump information to influence his decisions, promote conspiracy theories, exploit his severe mental health decline. Basically, damage America from within and foster global economic and political chaos abroad.

Trump’s social media posts are for the most part insane and destabilizing.  One wonders if they go beyond Trump’s obvious mental incapacitation and are products of a clever intelligence operation.   I think the former and not the latter.  Regardless, they are, we know, produced by Harp.

As a modern-day groom of the stool, Harp, contrary to media portrayals of her as a love-struck assistant, a stereotype affixed to women and never men, would seem a brilliant tactician and strategist. In Trump’s Thunder Dome of a White House, she has made herself a very powerful person indeed. The courtiers of Henry VIII would be respectful of her, so that they would not lose their heads. She is not to be underestimated.