Butthurt: A Reason to Sacrifice Lives?

A Modest Proposal for The Norwegian Prime Minister’s Response to Trump’s Greenland letter:

Donnie,

I received your letter last, which complained that you did not win the Nobel Peace Prize and have thereby decided to punish Norway by seizing Greenland.  

First, you do know, and should know, that Greenland is not part of Norway.  It is an autonomous region of the Kingdom of Denmark.  

Second, the government of Norway does not award the prize.  It is awarded by the Nobel Foundation, a non-government organization, named after a dead Swede. And no, his last name is not foundation.

Third, Greenland is not for sale, according to our Danish neighbors.  Just because 90 percent of the inhabitants of Greenland are indigenous peoples does not mean you can force the sale of the land for a handful of beads and trinkets, like America’s forefathers did to indigenous people’s lands in North America. The age of colonialism is over.

Fourth, if you wish to oppress your own people, destroy your economy, and demolish the democratic social contract between you and your people, have at it.  Leave us out of your childish temper tantrums.

In closing, two questions:

I am curious, and must ask why are you willing to sacrifice the young lives of your soldiers, airmen, and sailors for your petite jealousies? Greenland will not come cheaply to America as Danes are fierce fighters as you know because they fought and died alongside Americans in Afghanistan.

How do you intend to explain to a grieving mother that their son or daughter died in a desolate ice field because you are butthurt because a woman of color won the Nobel Peace Prize?  That you think American lives are worth sacrificing to satisfy your unchecked lust for a piece of stamped metal.  

Sincerely,

//Signed//